Class Assignment - Reflection

This is the first of a number of entries that I am required to write to earn a grade for one of the courses for which I'm receiving credit here. I post it elsewhere for the class but figured I'd repost it here for all to see.

1. Describe one experience/incident that has delighted you and reflect on its impact on you and on your attitude going forward.

Perhaps my best experience to date came last Friday night. After work, Max, Joe, and I met up with Mahlet and Niraj, along with Joe’s younger brother, for a night out in Accra. Because of the demands of a full-time job and the importance of first establishing a relationship with my host family, I hadn’t yet had the opportunity to really explore the city. After exploring and eating in Osu and hanging out for a bit at Celsbridge bar, we collectively gathered the courage to give real nightlife a try. When we arrived at Club 11, I was nervous and found myself making up excuses for why it made more sense to just go home. From safety to exhaustion to the cover charge, I kept running through reasons why NOT to try this. Lo and behold, we all ended up going in around 11:45 or so.

It took some nerve (and maybe the help of a drink or two) to get over my fear of embarrassment, but before long I found myself in a dance off with a Ghanaian that must’ve lasted nearly an hour. I am probably the world’s worst dancer, but not once did I feel like I was being laughed at. Throughout the rest of the night I had quite a few more dance offs and found myself surrounded by a small crowd of people on occasion. If you want to hear someone else’s perspective, someone who can more accurately tell you just how bad I am at dancing, ask anyone I went out with that night. By the time we left it was past 3AM and there were still more cars coming in than there were leaving. I don’t know where these people get their energy, but I was wiped by then and was more than ready to go to bed.

What I learned from this experience is that if I am to maximize my enjoyment and my experience here, I need to be willing to take the associated risk. I could quite easily dine American style, travel by taxi, and use the internet and phone all the time to get in touch with home. But by diving into Ghanaian cuisine (even if it might make me sick), taking the ever eventful tro-tro, and spending my nights talking with Joyce and her son or exploring the city, I’m going to walk away a much happier and much more knowledgeable individual.

THEN:

b. Describe one experience/incident that has puzzled or disturbed you and reflect on "why? why? and why else?" you may have reacted as you did. Yes: they "3 whys" strategy works on analyzing yourself, too. Reflect on how you could have reacted differently or handled the situation differently. Thinking of alternatives is sometimes hard: each of us do our absolute best at any given time. If you could have thought of a better alternative at the time, you would have reacted differently. So one of the values of reflection is that we can develop alternatives when we're not under the stress of the situation. That way in the future, in a similar situaton, we will have more alternatives available to choose from.

One experience that has bothered me so far is the presence of begging children. No one incident has particularly set me off, but the frequency with which I’m approached and often subsequently followed or grabbed by children asking for money or food is disturbing, and I’ve found that I don’t react well to these situations. I’m generally a mild-mannered person and I almost never show my anger, so my visible reaction when I’m grabbed and followed by one of these children is not extreme. But inside, I can feel myself really getting upset and even angry. I walk quickly and try to ignore the situation and, if grabbed, shake my arm till I’m let go of. Again, my physical reaction is somewhat modest but my emotional reaction feels extreme.

Why?
I come from a place where homelessness is not prevalent. I’m not used to seeing it and the disturbing thoughts that it brings about make me uncomfortable and upset. I’ve certainly seen plenty of homeless people before, but I have never been grabbed or followed by a homeless person in the U.S. I expect someone homeless to be lying down with a can or hat next to them, hoping that people’s good nature will leave the sufferer a bit better off. This difference frustrates me.

Why?
I am a white man in a black culture. This makes me a target, as my whiteness translates into wealth. This bothers me, and I become all the more defensive as a result. It upsets me that these children see me and, in some strange way, know that they can take advantage of me. In the moment, my guard comes up and I don’t handle the situation well. I should be more conscious of the fact that these children are seeing me like a salesman sees his wealthiest client, there is no malice involved.

Why else?
The most compelling reason to me: I believe confidently that if I found myself in this situation of despair, I would still refuse to resort to begging with such persistence. It is one thing to ask for help but another all together to become a nuisance in doing so. This is how I feel initially. But again, after dwelling on this a bit further I realize that I’m in no position to claim I’d be any less persistent than the beggars are. How would I know? I should be more conscious of the desperation these children may be feeling.